23 things i know at the age of 23

Two years ago, when I had just returned to London from a couple of months spent in lockdown with my parents at home in Bulgaria – which also happened to be a few days before my twenty-third birthday – I wrote the below list of lessons. Two years ago, almost at the age of twenty-three, I thought I had learned these lessons very well, and what seemed to be more important to me at the time was that I had learned them the hard way.

Revisiting these lines now, two years later, since I composed the list and after many hours of therapy, I'm realising now that most of the lessons I thought I had learned are yet to be mastered. Maybe some of these lessons are mantras I'm meant to carry alongside myself throughout my life and use as reminders to be kind to others and myself. Mantras to remind me how to tackle the demons within whenever they try to prevail.

Perhaps some of these lessons are principles that all people are meant to, or rather, should learn within their lifetimes in some way or form.

Regardless of what this list’s purpose is, I believe it represents my pre-transitional phase - moving from a twenty-something-year-old girl into a woman. ‘Pre-transitional’ is the keyword here because only this year, now twenty-five and even more confused, frustrated, and clueless about where, when, and what to do with my life, I am starting to feel like someone who is now becoming a woman.

I read through these words now more as if I'm reading through the lines of a poem that depicts a young girl's journey through life. I read through these words now, and I find myself deciphering what this girl tried to convey with each one of them. What did she go through that made her think these were the specific lessons she was supposed to take away with herself. I read through her pains and sorrows. The happiness she experienced through her sadness and uncertainty.

I look at these lines now and see a twenty-two-year-old girl trying to put pieces of a puzzle together that she thought went well together or made perfect sense. Something I know now, better than she did back then, is that a puzzle cannot be put together if one is pressing down the pieces of it with force. I suppose, however, that we are all doing the same at different stages of our lives. Are we not?

Read ‘23 things I know at the age of 23’ below:

failing in life is what builds your character your real education begins after graduating from school starting small is always a good idea nothing is perfect waiting to be ‘ready’ is another lie you tell yourself out of fear you can’t figure everything out

loving yourself is a difficult task pleasing people is not loving yourself validating should not be sought sometimes you just have to do things without a particular reason you choose your own way of believing in God taking things for granted can be very easy love requires action the wrong people don’t need a piece of your heart building real connections with people is tough not all friendships are meant to last forever

your soul knows no ego

food is fuel for your body health is not everything in your life, but everything else is nothing without your health

being good to people is important listening sometimes equals support you don’t always have to say something silence is a beautiful thing

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