.. seeking discomfort
If you knew that tomorrow would be the last day to feel the cold winter air pinch your cheeks and fill your lungs - would you be able to say you’ve lived a life where you’ve pushed yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, creating space for both personal and life growth? A life where you’ve taken risks and embraced challenges with open arms rather than defensively?
I know I wouldn’t.
Until recently, I had been too afraid to pursue the life I truly desired, settling instead for the one I ended up with for one reason or another. I was always cautious and hesitant to share my writing or paintings with anyone other than... myself. When you lay your soul and mind bare through art, the prospect of others' initial reactions, or the lack thereof, can be daunting. Often, people's lack of response may feel like a rejection, a sign that you or your art isn't good enough, which can obstruct you from trying in the first place.
I used to interpret people's lack of reaction to my writing as a sign that my work was so feeble that they couldn't be bothered to share with me their opinions about it. For as long as I can remember, I thought this was because I wasn't seeking enough discomfort with my writing. I wasn’t pushing my boundaries further enough. While this has been the truth for many years for me personally, as I intentionally avoided trying new forms or genres because I "didn't know how to do it" and clearly I wasn’t ready to put in the effort to learn how to do it, it’s not the only truth.
The older I get, the more I understand that there are various reasons why people will not support you or ignore your art. Often, these reasons have little to do with the quality of your work and more to do with the personal battles they are waging. Sadly, more often than not, there will also be people who don't like others chasing their dreams and striving to improve their lives. Nobody likes to be reminded that they themselves are not putting in the effort to make their own dreams and goals a reality. Nobody likes to be reminded that they're living on autopilot and not ‘seeking discomfort’.
“Seeking discomfort” - if you repeat the phrase a couple of times, the echo of it rings out like a melody at the palate of your mouth. The ‘s’ sounds make it seem somewhat chilling - almost making you feel.. uncomfortable. Seeking discomfort. Seeking discomfort.. defining the phrase has been a struggle for me. I've wrestled so much with finding the right words that I've even resorted to asking ChatGPT to do it for me (isn't it interesting how we used to say 'I had to Google it' and now it's 'ask ChatGPT'?).
According to ChatGPT the phrase ‘seeking discomfort’ can be defined in many ways of which the most commonly used ones are:
“Logically: can be seen as a decision-making approach where individuals intentionally choose actions or situations that lie outside their comfort zones in pursuit of personal growth."
“Psychological: may refer to a concept related to positive psychology and resilience. It involves deliberately exposing oneself to emotionally or mentally uncomfortable situations to build psychological resilience, learning, and personal development."
“Philosophical: can be viewed as a life philosophy or ethical principle. It suggests that individuals should actively engage with challenges, adversity, and the unknown in their pursuit of a more meaningful and fulfilling existence."
These definitions appear somewhat the same yet subtly different, but they share the same root: seeking discomfort = personal growth; personal development; meaningful and fulfilling existence.
I’ve contemplated this phrase for a couple of years now and I’ve even gone as far as to get it tattooed on my left hand, just above the elbow crease, in capital letters in a thin font done with a single needle (as the tattooist emphasized). I did this to remind myself to persevere through the most challenging moments of my life. To keep running during runs that feel too difficult to finish and I’d rather give up, to maintain my composure when yet another client misspelt my name on a work email for the thousandth time, to work around the mistakes in my artwork whenever I make one instead of throwing the whole painting away, and to start writing that short story even if I think 'I don't know how.'
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